This one time in Germany

I have been to Germany three times in my life, twice on trips with my family and before that once through my high school. It is one of the countries that I feel safest in no matter where I am at. I have been to “palaces” and “slums” in Germany and I never once felt the need to look over my shoulder to see what might be coming. I love the people of Germany and their penchant for order and efficiency, their iron wall of stiffness melts away when you actually have a conversation with them. It’s interesting to me, but being an American or coming from a country where English is the dominant language, we have it so good in other countries because most people know English if they know a second language.

Small detour, if you are planning on going to Germany on vacation I recommend dedicating most of your time to the alps and Bavaria. Whatever visions you have in your head of what the black forest is like, I am sure you will find it at some point in the actual black forest. The food is medieval if you go traditional, pork knuckles and large sausages, pickled is how most of your vegetables will come and you won’t care because the beer is so damn good. IF you venture into a more modern venue prepare yourself for another gastronomic treat because it is like the elegance of French cuisine combined with the precision of the German mind, however it is much easier to find the traditional spots and my vegetarian mother did survive despite it being the only trip she actually lost weight on.

Back to the topic at hand, When I was in Germany the first time I made it my mission to frequent as many drinking establishments as I could, I had recently turned 17 and was ready to start pregaming for college. All but one left me with some of the greatest experiences I have ever had drinking, despite what the morning after felt like. There was one bar though that I should have known I should never have entered. It was just after I entered that I felt a feeling that I had never felt before, people were looking at me and my friend and they were not curious about us. It is the only time in my life I have ever felt this way and I can only describe it as, the same as the moment after you break something valuable and your parents hear it happen, you just need to get out of there. Something was going to happen if we didn’t leave and we both knew it wasn’t going to be good. For the next part of the story I need to bring up some sensitive topics, especially sensitive right now in my country. I am white for the most part, I have less than 20 percent of my DNA that is marked non-white, and most of that is native American (I prefer Indian but it’s not that big of a deal, essay to come). Regardless of that I have darker skin than most white people, even though I live in Washington state, and my hair and eyes are darker brown. To most people I appear to be a pretty average white guy, and to me my friend appeared to be a somewhat taller half Asian kid (I am sorry but I don’t know what region of Asia his family was from), but not to the patrons of this bar. I should have known by the chopped Harleys outside that this place was bad for us but I grew up around a bunch of really rough bikers so it really just felt kind of familiar to me. AS soon as we opened the door we were blasted by German language American country style music, and I knew a little German at the time but not enough to know why the singer kept bringing up “der fuhrer”, but I would learn quick. My friend turned to me and gave me a look I will never forget, the kind of get me the f out of here you see in movies when a large horde of zombies shows up and you are all out of bullets, thinking about it now I probably had the same look on my face as I turned to him. We didn’t even make it inside more than 10 feet before we knew, we had wandered into a NAZI biker bar. It is one of the only ways that I think a white man can face true racism in their life and actually know, just for a single second what it is like to live life everyday 24/7 as a minority in most countries. I almost never wanted to go back to Germany after that experience. No one said anything to us or got out of their chairs, but we never made it to the bar to order a drink and I don’t think that would have gone very well.

You may be asking, why am I telling you this story? My answer is this, white people will never know what it is like to grow up as a minority in this country. I experienced what I believe to be the closest thing that exists to that in our modern times and it made me sick to my stomach for hours. It is time for us to stop trying to understand why black and brown people feel the way they feel about racism in education and policing and government, now we need to do something about it. I wanted to kill everyone in that bar after I got back to my hotel room that night, I made the choice to not burn it down. I now feel pity for those that hate, because when I hated them I still felt sick to my stomach, and all they deserve is my pity.

Action must be taken to ensure that no one ever feels what minorities feel everyday of their lives in this country, if you aren’t a minority you will never fully know their pain. I do not fully know their pain and fear because I was only not white enough for those animals in that bar, who knows what would have happened if not only my eyes and hair were brown but my skin as well. I think that we should start off by listening to the poor and predominantly minority communities in this country, so that we can know as a country what they need. I might not know what they need but I am here as I know many of you are waiting to be pointed in the direction of helping my fellow humans to live their best life. I am an off-white male with miles of privilege and I am willing to give it all to those that only want a fair chance. Equity is not equality, it never has been and never will be. I fear no man or woman based on the tone of their skin, for the color of their character guides me to my emotions about them. Fear begets hatred, hatred spreads lies and lies can kill. Do not lie to yourself, if you were born into this country with white skin, you were already running by the time the gun went off.

Love is our power and we will wield it with a vengeance no one has ever seen before, because hate must be stopped. My generation is coming of age as I write this and we must all be soldiers, soldiers of love. We will become the army of love and we will lead the way to a better future that is not only brighter but so f’ing colorful you could fill all the rainbows that ever existed and still have paint left in the can. I don’t give a rat’s left nut if that was too cheesy for you because, mark my words, it is what is going to happen. Rise with me so that we can show the whole world what it means to love, and I know we cannot fail.